Signs of Bad Parenting and How do I Fix Bad Parenting?

Signs of Bad Parenting and How do I Fix Bad Parenting?

Becoming a Mother or a Father is the most amazing feeling which can never be expressed in words. But at the same time, becoming parents means you have now major and critical responsibility. Parenting is not an easy or simple job. This article is all about identifying Signs of Bad Parenting and How do I Fix Bad Parenting?

As a part of your parenting journey, there will be hard, hectic, and difficult days where you will sit down and emotionally break.  You will be completely exhausted, lost all your patience, starts yelling, become angry all the time and perhaps want to run away. During these times, you will or have asked yourself these question that:

      • Am I a Bad Parent?
      • Did I fail as being a Good Parent?
      • How did I miss Signs of Bad Parenting?
      • How do I Fix Bad Parenting?

In this article, we have broken down the article so that we can easily understand and question in hand and thus come to a reasonable and practical solution.

  1. What is Parenting?
  2. How do you define Bad Parenting?
  3. What are the Signs of Bad Parenting?
      • Not allowing him/her to make a decision
      • Lack of trust
      • Shaming
      • No Discipline
      • Neglection
  4. How do I Fix Bad Parenting?
      • Allow them Some Space
      • Build Mutual Trust
      • Teach them, not Shame them
      • Discipline Efficiently
      • Spend Time
  5. Conclusion

1-What is Parenting?

As we know by definition, a Parent refers to the biological or step-father or step-mother. On the other hand, Parenting refers to a larger meaning.

Parenting or Child-rearing is a long, stressful, 24/7 process of raising a child from the day they are born or in other words from infancy till their adulthood. 

Parenting does not only involves fulling filling physical needs such as food, shelter, safety, and Education. It also requires providing Emotional, Social, and Intellectual development support.

2-How do you define Bad Parenting?

We all agree to the point that no one intentionally wants to be a Bad Parent or have a bad influence over their child. We must also understand that only physical or sexual abuse is not the only Sign of Bad Parenting.

Children from their early age, learn and influence by the environment around them. We may not be directly harming them, but emotionally, and the environment in our homes, behaviors of parents with each other and with other family members, their siblings, neighborhood, and environment in school plays a very vital role on the child’s character and personality.

We must understand and recognize first that there are certain things that we could do intended or unintendedly which will add to Bad Parenting. Once you acknowledge these actions/habits, it will become very easier for you to rectify and be the parent that you want to be.

The identify the Signs of Bad Parenting, the very first thing that you can do is take an objective look at your Parenting Style. It is always difficult to judge yourself but it is important to separately see yourself as a person and your behavior as a parent. In other words, you could be very polite or funny as a person, but as a parent, you may have a different personality.

Another important factor that should also consider is that you should not jump to a conclusion too quickly. Behaving uncommonly, or harshly at a particular moment does not constitute you be a Bad Parent.  We all are human beings and we have certain limits.

Although some people disagree on what is “good” or “bad” parenting, most parents have both positive and negative parenting traits.

3-What are the Signs of Bad Parenting?

Here are some of the most common Signs of Bad Parenting:

  • Not Allowing them to Make a Decision
  • Lack of trust
  • Shaming
  • No Discipline
  • Neglection

Not Allowing them to Make a Decision

It is a very common problem with most parents. They always see their children’s babies and used to make all decisions for them. This could be very dangerous as in long term the child will not be able to make decisions by himself/herself and will have no confidence at all.

Lack of Trust

It is very important that you should have trust in your children. Lack of trust from the parent’s side will adversely affect. Having no trust will cause you to be monitoring your child all the time and leads to a Helicopter Parenting Style.

Shaming

We are humans and we all make mistakes. Shaming your children in front of everyone or alone will be bad for the child. There is a greater chance that your child may develop a fear of failure and is very hurtful for them. According to Claire McCarthy, MD, Senior Faculty Editor, Harvard Health Publishing, a child may feel bad about themselves and lower their self-esteem.

Disproportionate Discipline

The word Discipline is from the Latin word “disciplinare”  which means to teach or train. A child does not know the difference between good or bad. Sometimes they do things intentionally or without realizing their consequences. As good parents, it is our duty to guide them and Discipline them accordingly. But it does not mean that you punish, scold, yell, or spank at them.  Little or No Discipline is also a sign of bad parenting. A recent study by the American Academy of Pediatrics states that discipline techniques like yelling and spanking are a really bad idea.

Neglection

Children have a very close relationship with their parents.  It is very painful for them if their parents intentionally or unintentionally neglect them. There could be many logical reasons, such as working long hours at a job or have to go out for a business trip on a certain occasion which could be very important for a child. They could be feeling alone, or having a problem in their life where they need their parents for emotional support. Children need time from their parents to be there with them on such times and occasions.

4-How do I Fix Bad Parenting?

We can all agree that it becomes easier to treat the disease once you have diagnosed it. You can apply the principle to Fix Bad Parenting.

  • Allow them Some Space
  • Build Mutual Trust
  • Teach them, not Shame them
  • Discipline Efficiently
  • Spend Time

Allow them Some Space

It is very important for children to have some freedom to make their own decisions. It is very important for them to learn and make good decisions so that they can be confident in their choices. You can always supervise them, provide them support, or advise them. If you do not allow them the space they need, they will be suffocated.

Build Mutual Trust

Trust is very vital for any relationship to succeed. You should teach your children the importance of mutual trust. Your children should not fear but respect and trust you. It will boost their confidence and they will not hide anything from you because of you being angry or upsetting you.

Teach them, not Shame them

You should never shame your children in front of anyone nor shame them alone. Each child is unique and has different capabilities and characteristics from others. Children have a very limited scope of seeing and judging things. You may on your side doing constructive criticism but a child may take it in the wrong sense. Avoid using phrases like:

      • “Your Brother/Sister is performing much better than you”
      • “Why can’t you get good grades like your sister?”
      • “Why are you crying? It’s not that bad.”

These above phrases may seem simple but are very hard and painful for a child.

Discipline Efficiently

Discipline is very important in our lives. Parents should keep a balance when it comes to disciplining their children.  Excessive or no discipline is bad for the children. Instead of yelling or scolding them, you should use logic and reason to teach them good and bad and how it can affect their personality or habit.

Spend Time

Children are very emotional, they need and expect love and time from their parents. Your child should be your priority.  You should spend a fair amount of time covering their emotional needs. Practically, sometimes it is impossible for a parent to attend PTA meetings, games, or drama where the child is playing due to the job commitment. Under such circumstances, parents should support each other and talk to their children so that they can understand they are an important part of their lives and you feel very bad about missing such an event.

5-Conclusion

Parenting is not easy. It requires love, compassion, and never end sacrifices which start from the day your baby is born to the day they come, adult and independent.

As a parent, we will perhaps continue to worry and think that what we could have done better. This is all-natural. It does not matter if you are richer or poorer, you only want the best for your loved one within your available resources and knowledge.

Remember that you’re learning as you go, and every day is a chance to start fresh. With the right tools and with patience for our children — and ourselves — we can all choose the parent we want to be.

If you ever feel down, or feeling that you are failing, talk to your parents, friends, or anyone who is also a parent. There is not shame in asking for help or support.

Parenting is a huge responsibility that requires you to work 24/7 and 365 days a year.  Just do your best.

 

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